Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

The 5 Love Languages

Posted: June 18, 2017 in Life

It’s no secret that I’m not very good at this relationship thing. I think not being able to keep a long term relationship is different to not knowing how to love someone. I do the latter pretty well, but somehow cannot lock down the former. Sometimes, in my extremely mopey moments, I like to see what my exes are up to – and they all seem to have girlfriends now. Yes, even the druggie, the alcoholic and the guy who never wanted to leave the house. So what exactly is wrong with me that I just can’t keep a relationship past the 3 months mark?

I’ve done a lot of introspection the past few days and have come up with a few thoughts.

  1. I give up too easily. 
    Even as I tell myself time and time again that I want the next one to be forever, I don’t put in the necessary effort to effect that. If something isn’t going exactly the way I envisioned, thoughts of breaking up start forming in my head. And the minute that process begins, it’s incredibly difficult to get things back to the way they were before.
  2. I’m not the best communicator.

    “Bottled up inside are the words I never said,
    the feelings that I hide, the lines you never read.”

    I’ve never been an open book, so it is difficult to read me. If I am annoyed, I’ll usually keep quiet until it reaches the boiling point… and even then, I’ll act out in a very passive aggressive manner. I think it is because I don’t like having difficult conversations. I often struggle to transcend my feelings eloquently into words. A lot of times, what is obvious to me is probably not obvious to someone else. I definitely need to work on this if I ever hope to have a successful relationship.

  3. I have a different love language.
    According to the website, this is how my love languages are ranked:
    9. Quality time
    7. Acts of Service
    7. Receiving Gifts
    6. Physical touch
    1. Words of affirmation

    I don’t think this list is complete. The one other thing I value is public acknowledgement – It isn’t enough that only your closet friends and family know about me. I want your extended circle of friends to know too. I’m a sharer of photos and memories, not merely a keeper of them.
    I also value gifts and small gestures a lot. A chocolate or a love note goes a long way. I need to know that I am always on your mind, so 1 text a day simply won’t cut it. I have to know that I am a priority in your life, not just a convenience.

  4. My parents’ messed up marriage.
    My parents don’t have a  good relationship – in fact, I’ll say they have the worst kind of relationship: the kind where neither are happy yet they’re forced to stay together. I’ve grown up watching this disaster of a relationship unfold and perhaps this is why I’m somewhat commitment phobic now. I don’t want to have the pathetic ruse of a marriage my parents have. I don’t want to stay in something that isn’t right for me. I want to have the freedom to leave whenever I want to. I feel incredibly sad for my dad, who is literally the greatest. But he’s stuck with a dead weight who is constantly criticizing, never apologising. I’m worried that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and that I am more like my mother than I like to admit. The horror.Of course, it doesn’t help that they are still living with me. (Not for long I hope!) It’s hard not having my own space. I think it’s best to stay single for now, and give this relationship thing a proper try once they’ve moved back to China.

Remember Me

Posted: November 24, 2016 in Life

She’s just not that into you

Posted: August 23, 2016 in Life

Tall and handsome

Posted: August 20, 2016 in Life

There won’t be any photos or name dropping this time because he asked me not to divulge that information. So you’ll just have to use your imagination and conjure up a tall, handsome lad with a sweet smile in a red checkered shirt ;)

We met at Truth Coffee and he was on time – I just love a man who’s punctual! We had a nice, quiet table in the corner and our waiter was just the loveliest hipster looking guy. It was remarkably easy talking to him. Then again, it’s always easy talking to someone at the onset. I generally have the capacity to keep a conversation going for an hour, no matter who I’m talking to. What was refreshing about this one was it had more substance than mere small talk. Oh, have I mentioned he’s really good looking? Yip, totally my type.

At some point during the date, he said his friend had read my blog. This friend, let’s call him Borenzo, didn’t like what I wrote 2 years ago about the Dalai Lama and promptly made a character judgment based on that and decided I was therefore not good enough. I think Borenzo even told my date to cancel, which thankfully he didn’t.

At this stage, I feel like I need to express that I hold a utilitarian view. It’s about what gives the most utility. Sometimes, a slight injustice is necessary for a greater benefit. I won’t go into detail about it here because this post is about my date, not about Borenzo the bozo.

Despite everything having gone so well, the sad part is he is leaving the country soon to study abroad. Still, it was nice to have made a friend, and to celebrate that, here’s a photo of a cute corgi.

Bald and Bearded

Posted: August 20, 2016 in Life