Story of a friend (of a friend)

Posted: October 10, 2009 in humour, Life
Tags: , ,

Statistically speaking, there will always be one weirdo (or freakazoid, depending on the intensity of your judgement) in a group of randomly composed individuals.  This post is about someone whom I have never met, but the stories involving him are so legendary that I have to dedicate an entry to him. (For the sake of anonymity, we shall call this guy “Duke”.)

Duke was, relatively speaking, a normal student studying computer science at UCT.  Everything was hunky dory until the end of his third year of studies where he suddenly garnered the urge to join the British Army.  So, he dropped out of university in order to pursue his new dream, while under the delusion that “people don’t die in armies anymore”.  His parents (for some unfathomable reason) supported this crazy notion.  Instead of going ballistic at the thought of seeing their son drop out in his final year of university, they simply went, “That’s nice”.  However, instead of flying to the UK, Duke packed up all of his belongings and went home.  Reason: he didn’t want to join the army in winter; he’d rather go in summer. So, he moped around the house for about 6 months and played video games all day long.

Six months came and went, and his “Army” idea went with them.  (I guess the novelty just wore off.) Duke was suddenly faced with a new spectrum of decisions.  He was a 20-something year old with no qualification, no driver’s licence, and minimum work experience.  Luckily, with some persuasion from his step-father, Duke finally decided not to throw his future away, and to apply for an engineering degree at the University of Pretoria.  (Why Step-dad steered Duke to a new degree was a mystery, but theories suggest that he wanted Duke to keep an eye on the Sister who was on the verge of dropping out of university herself.)

As (bad) luck would have it, UP refused Duke’s application on the basis that his marks were not good enough.  To combat his disappointment, Duke decided to take a short holiday to Mozambique where he drank so much that the next day, when he was on a diving expedition, he threw up in his regulator while underwater. As pieces of regurgitated food came out, schools of fish started gathering around him and were nibbling on the puke. (Disgusting imagery, I know!) Duke survived the ordeal, but needless to say, his mom was not impressed.

Moral of the story? STAY IN SCHOOL!

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